Questionable holiday parenting skills

I love Thanksgiving weekend, full of good food and holiday shopping!

Today, daughter and I planned a morning of Black Friday-Saturday shopping before it got too crowded on the roads. We were running later than I wanted, so I fed the two of us an instant breakfast of leftover pumpkin pie.

I knew we'd both be hungry in an hour, which would be well into our shopping spree, and wouldn't have time to stop for food. So on the way out the door, I grabbed anything within my reach that would travel well: a bottle of water, the last 3 homemade marshmallows and half a homemade dinner roll.

I put the food on the dash of the car as we backed out of the driveway and said, "In case you get hungry."

My only saving grace was that everything was homemade -- I didn't stick a full-of-crap granola bar or pop-tart or in her face. On the flip side, we haven't eaten anything green since Thursday; I think it's time to break out the spinach tonight. But first, one more piece of pie.

The gay talk

There are milestone talks every parent has (or should have) with their children. Today, my 10-yr. old received the "gay" talk. She's been hearing the word on TV lately; the first time was a month or so ago when Margaret Cho announced that Dancing with the Stars has "gone gay."

Me to husband as we're heading out the door to go to the mall: You look like my dad dressed like that.
Husband: Oh yeah?
Me: I think if my dad were still alive today and still dressed the same way, he'd be mistaken for a well-dressed gay man.
Daughter: I heard what you said about your dad, what did you mean?

[pause, deep breath]

Me: Honey, there are men and women who are attracted to each other, like me and daddy. And then there are men who are attracted to other men.
Daughter: [giggles]
Me: And then there are women who are attracted to other women. The term "gay" refers to men who are attracted to other men, or women who are attracted to other women. The men are also referred to as homosexuals, and the women, lesbians. Some people think it's really weird, and some people think it's really wonderful, and those two groups argue about it a lot. I think as long as everyone is happy and not hurting anyone they can like whomever they want. Do you have any questions?
Daughter: OK, no. Can we go to the mall now?

...and off we went. Me, daughter, and my well-dressed husband.